Managing Children’s Feelings at Piano Lessons
child wiping away a tear
It used to happen frequently when I first started teaching.
I hate to admit this, but I used to make kids cry at piano lesson. Occasionally. Not every lesson, but it did happen. Over the years, I got better at managing my feelings, and theirs.
But the other day, I did it again.
Here's what happened: My student came in and happily played a Christmas song with absolutely NO rhythm. You know the drill. She just played one note after another, and then another, and then turned to me with a smile on her face.
I said something like: "Hey that's great - now let's count the rhythm!" So we counted and clapped. Then I asked her to play and - horror of horrors - COUNT OUT LOUD! She said it was too hard, I said it wasn't. I didn't notice that her lip started trembling. Before I knew it - she was wiping away a tear. And I felt horrible. This is a kid who is very perfectionistic and loves to feel accomplished. She is scared of starting anything new because - you guessed it - the new song feels uncomfortable. Now I was reminded of a basic truism that I try to teach by:
"Always look at a child's FACE more than their hands."
It's so easy to get focused on hand position, posture, and ALL THE THINGS. But a child's FACE, and particularly their EYES, tell me so much. If I had paid attention to her face a few seconds earlier, I could have deflected that anxiety and frustration. I could have redirected the child to a happier moment.
Smiley face with a thumbs up
Happy Ending
I thought the next lesson might be weird, so I purposefully put on my happy face and planned some fun exercises with rhythm instruments. By the time we finished a few, she was excited to play AND count out loud. Lesson Learned (for me!)
I have more to share....
Because I have taught a looooong time (over 40 years), I've made lots of mistakes. I've had a few victories along the way.
My experiences as a public school classroom teacher, church musician, and piano teacher have shaped me. Not to mention being a mom to three great adults (one with special needs) and 6 over-the-top grandkids!
I'll Be Sharing My Experience at Two Conferences in 2025!
I'm thrilled to announce that I will be presenting at the MTNA Virtual Conference - "Tempo" in April - AND I'll also be presenting at the Texas MTA Conference in June. Would absolutely LOVE to meet up with you at one of those two spaces!
